Samatvam / Upekkha

 Blog inspired by  ancient stories

                             

 

Samatvam/Upekkha

Samatvam or Upekkha is a state of mind where one remains unperturbed by external circumstances, whether positive or negative. We learn to neither get overly attached to pleasant situations nor disappointed by unpleasant ones.

This is  a quality in life I have always aspired to have. It brings with it a deep sense of happiness which can only be experienced, not explained. I would like to share this beautiful story that throws more light on this quality of equanimity-samatvam.

                             

Once upon a time, there lived a poor farmer. He had a small farm and  had only one horse to help him plough the field and carry the load. He was content with what he had, though he had only so much.

One day, his horse ran away. His neighbors rushed to his house to express their sympathy and said “What a terrible luck this was!”. He replied “Maybe”.

They were surprised at his answer and thought how could he be so calm in this situation. They concluded that he was in denial of his bad luck.

 

 A few days later, the farmer’s horse returned and brought with it several wild horses. Now, the farmer had many horses to help him around the farm. This time again, the neighbors came rushing to congratulate him on his luck. Smiling calmly, he said “may be, it is good luck or maybe not”.

A few days later, the farmer’s son tried to tame one of the wild horses. He fell down and broke his leg. Again, the neighbors came to express their sympathy. “What bad luck that your son has broken his leg, now he can't help you!”.  The farmer calmly replied once again - “maybe”. The villagers were baffled and surprised to see his nonchalant response.

Soon, a war broke out in the country and soldiers came to the village to draw out young men to fight the war. Many other villagers’ sons were taken to fight the war. The farmer's son was spared due to his injury. Once again, the neighbors came to say “how blessed you are that your son broke his leg!”.  Farmer replied, “may be”.

What we need to learn from this story is ‘Nothing in life is permanent’.

The farmer’s wisdom and his consistent replies of “may be” for every situation shows his deep understanding that change is the only constant in life.   The innate desire to categorize events as desirable or undesirable, favorable or unfavorable creates an emotional roller-coaster. We are often elated when things go well and devastated when things go wrong.

The farmer’s story shows that - we never have the complete picture. The concept of non-judgement does not mean indifference or apathy.  The farmer was not detached from his life. He possessed equanimity - he cared about his horse, his son and his livelihood, but he did not allow his peace of mind to be at the mercy of his circumstances.

When we stop insisting that life confirms to our ideas of how things should be, we find a deeper freedom. Envy steals our peace of mind. How often we compare our circumstances to that of others, concluding that we are either blessed or cursed based on such comparisons.  All the ancient Indian scriptures teach us to do our duties dispassionately.

If we try to practice this quality of samatvam /upekkha in our everyday situations, it will free us from the misery of our expectations and lead us to the path of happiness in our present reality.

Happy living

 

 

 

In Search of Happiness

Where can one  find happiness ?
Thoughts like "Will I be happy if this  or that happens the way I planned?"  come and go.
And what if things don't happen the way  I wanted them to? What now? Do I sit and sulk or cry my heart out?
In the quest for the answer to this, I ended up in the process of looking  inwards, into my mind .

Can external  circumstances  dictate my feelings?

There have been days when I would have loved to climb atop a mountain and scream "why me?"
Finally I would just settle  for crying in a dark room for hours and then get on with life as if nothing happened.

When did the transformation  happen?

The real transformation  happened when I accepted my anger as a part of me trying to tell me I'm hurt deep down.
I  changed my routine,was more aware of my feelings and put in consistent efforts to feel at peace with myself. Meditating even when my monkey brain would have jumped ten thoughts ahead while the guided  meditation  was on. But nevertheless  I didn't give up on myself. After all I was in the quest of finding inner peace and the much elusive happiness.

How does it feel now?

I have come a long way from all those feelings  of self pity and anger.
It wasn't easy, but there wasn't  much of a choice. I  had to  choose between  sulking all my life or make peace with the situations. I chose the latter. Wasn't an easy choice. Sulking  was a lot fun.
On a serious  note..  the acceptance    brought about a blanket of peace that covered my whole being. I felt so liberated from my anger and anxiety.
For a very long time, I had used anger to propel me towards getting  things done and camouflage  the feeling of hurt  and  injustice  i felt  .
Slowly  the  external  circumstances stopped  controlling how I feel and behave.
I had to take a break from the old thought process(easier said than done  when your  brain doesn't  let you forget the last time you tried   and  failed)
However  philosophical it may sound,  I  chose to switch to calming  myself down in the face of  a storm that refused to abate at any point in my life. 
I feel reborn when I see myself calmly  facing all situations with a clear mind. I can't but applaud myself  for   my perseverance  and will power.
Having a child on the spectrum  has been challenging.The fact still remains I absolutely  and whole-heartedly  love my son(who is on the spectrum)as much as  I love my daughter (neurotypical 19 year old).  Infact, I have evolved as a  better  human being all thanks to both my children. They both taught me to love unconditionally  and made me realize that I'm a lot stronger  than  I thought .

Ranjitha 

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